An ode to my sister, my lifelong friend.
When it comes to relationships, my relationship with my sister has been one of the most complex, challenging, and rewarding relationships of my life thus far. I’ve learned more about relationships, friendships, and myself through my relationship with her than any other.
If you have siblings, you are likely aware that, for better or worse, your relationship with them will likely be the longest, closest, and most persevering relationship of your life.
One may argue that your parents should hold this title. However, if you and your sibling(s) outlive your parents (God willing), you could have a relationship with your sibling for potentially decades beyond the time you knew your parents. Plus, if you’re anything like my sister and me, your sibling probably knows more about you than you ever shared with your parents. They are the keepers of all your secrets because you know all of theirs. An interesting fact I came across once is that a person shares more common DNA with their sibling than their parents since they only receive half their DNA from each parent.
“Having a sister is like having a best friend you can’t get rid of. You know whatever you do, they’ll still be there.” — Amy Li
My sister knows me like no one else ever can. She knows all the good, bad, embarrassing, impressive, dark, and damaged pieces. She knows the right buttons to push when we argue. And she knows my vulnerabilities. When I need to be bolstered, she knows what I need to hear. When I am down, she knows how to make me laugh.
She not only knows but was likely witness to my most embarrassing and shameful moments. But she was also beside me, celebrating my greatest achievements. My experiences have been hers, and hers mine, inextricably linked through our shared history.
“A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost.” — Marion Garretty
My sister is only two years and two months younger than me. We have lived our lives together. She is inextricably linked to every significant moment and memory of my life.
We were each other’s first friends. We experienced the same childhood and home life. We came of age together and shared many of the same friends. We attended the same elementary and high school and even occasionally shared classes. We experienced the unexpected loss of our father together, and we mourned together. When she became a mother, I was there, and I became an aunt. Together, we transitioned into our adult roles. Most recently, we have experienced and processed our mother’s diagnosis of terminal brain cancer together. Together, we stood strong and made decisions no one our age should have to make, especially not alone.
“As you’re growing up and you’re close, you can’t trust anyone the way you trust your sister, but also they have the power to wound you in ways no one else really does.” — Ally Condie
We have not always been good sisters. We have not always treated each other kindly. We have gone through bad times, not speaking, losing track of one another, bickering endlessly. We have had some of the most brutal arguments of my life.
Knowing someone your entire life means inevitably growing apart at various points. The difference is that when you grow apart from a friend or significant other, you’re rarely forced to maintain the relationship. But familial obligation has afforded us the opportunity to grow back together, learning forgiveness and acceptance along the way.
“When sisters stand shoulder to shoulder, who stands a chance against us?” — Pam Brown
Though our sisterly bond has wavered when the times got tough, she has always been there, the person I needed most.
She has understood my every dark and scary thought regarding the loss of our dad and our mom’s diagnosis. She’s been strong when I have been weak. I have never had to make a difficult decision alone because she was there to make it with me. She has shown me compassion when I’ve lashed out from stress and grief. And in this way, I have learned by example and become a better person, thanks to her.
“Sister. You are not only a strong woman, you are the strongest tie to the best years of my life.“ — Melanie J. Pellowski, My Dearest Sister
Experiencing as much hardship as we have together, we have learned the true value and importance of our relationship.
Our mom often said that a sister is a gift, a friend you will have forever, usually to guilt-trip us when we were arguing. She’d say, she would believe she had succeeded as a mother as long as her daughters loved each other. As her illness progresses, I can assure her this wish has been unquestionably granted.
One day, when my mom is no longer with us, not one person on this Earth, besides my sister, will remember my childhood home. No one will share the memories we have of our parents or our day-to-day lives. Nobody else will share and cherish the same memories. And no one will understand my hurt precisely as I feel it. But she will because it’s her hurt as well.
“Often, in old age, the sisters become each other’s chosen and most happy companions. In addition to their shared memories of childhood and their relationship to each other’s children, they . . . carry the echoes of their mother’s voice.” — Margaret Mead
I will forever cherish the relationship I have now with my sister. Developing it and learning the value it brings to my life has been a glimmer of light during these dark and difficult times. I will never again lose sight of her importance in my life. And I will be forever indebted to her for the peace, understanding, support, care, and love she has shown me.
“How do people make it through life without a sister?” — Sara Corpening
If you are lucky enough to have a sibling with whom to experience life’s ups and downs, cherish them and let them know how they make your life better.
BLEW WRITING LLC 